It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
