He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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