I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
