hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
