it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize