I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
