she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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