There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
