I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
