I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize