i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
