Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
