Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Non-Jews are for practice
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
