She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
