So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
