I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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