its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
