i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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