something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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