That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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