he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
