Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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