It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize