she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I got inside last night via doggy door
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
