Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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