Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You're like the curious george of whores
you inspire me to be a worse person
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
