After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
