Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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