just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
