I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
