pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize