I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
