Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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