I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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