I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
