Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
