Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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