Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
