The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Boobs are out for the taking
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize