I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
