i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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