Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
