Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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