Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
