in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We are all done wearing pants today
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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