never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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