Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
