Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
