i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
