so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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