Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
