I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
