ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
