i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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