First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
